WHAT IF? by Les Stillman

I love this place. It’s simply enchanting. So exotic. Palm trees and potted plants everywhere, and the blue of the sea, it’s simply divine. The staff look wonderful in their lovely native costumes and they cater to one’s every need. No radios or papers to disturb the tranquillity, a shield from the worries of the outside world, this place is just heaven. Hmm, the pool looks so cool and inviting.

‘I say Dickie, what about a quick dip before drinkies?

          Hate this place. What a disaster. Damn trees and spiked shrubbery everywhere, and the glare off that bloody ocean is giving me a headache. The staff look like clowns in those bloody awful costumes, constantly bothering me. Cut off from civilisation. No radios or even a newspaper, this place is a nightmare. God she wants to go for a swim, not likely after all these yokels have been in there, never know what you might catch.

‘What’s that you say, old girl? Drinkies? Rather.’

What a splendid idea they have, asking the guests to dress for dinner in these wonderful outfits they’ve given us. ‘It’s so romantic, wearing these pretty costumes. I love this veil, it’s rather seductive don’t you think?’ I wish Dickie would put his outfit on, instead of wearing his suit. He’d look like a foreign prince, instead of a stuck up, pompous Englishman. 

Couldn’t believe it when they gave us these ghastly costumes to wear to dinner. No, no, no. I have my suit, and that’ll do me just fine.

‘I say old girl; must you wear that bloody veil. Makes you look like some sort of harem girl don’t you know.  And before you ask – no, I will not wear that bally clown outfit.’

Horrible beast, if it wasn’t for the scandal, I’d chuck him out. Hmmm, still, he can be charming at times and I do make him look good when I’m on his arm.

Silly woman. By God, if it wasn’t for her money, I’d divorce her on the spot. Hmmm, still, not a bad set of pins on her, if you know what I mean.

I do love it here, so tranquil. Or it would be without Dickie. Now all I have to do is convince him to go and leave me here. ‘Dickie my love. What if…’